A lot of people make their way to Thailand in their travel years after University or later when they are taking a break between careers. It isn’t unheard of for a “farang” (foreigner) to end up staying months or even years in Thailand past his planned schedule. Why is that? There are two kinds of men who stay.
The Sexpat Only Wants One Thing.
He comes with a devil-may-care attitude and his behavior ruins the reputation of foreigners for more traditional Thai people who are nervous at the negative influence tourism can bring into Thailand. The sexpat doesn’t care for the people’s well-being as they are and only wants to take as much as he can without any sort of responsibility to society or even to himself. The second type of man is in Thailand because of a sense of love for life and for adventure. He comes to Thailand because of the beauty and fascinating people, maybe even he is interested in Buddhism or he has heard incredible things about the culture being in harmony with life, or maybe a special reason like the scuba diving, cooking or Thai massage schools. He discovers Thai women almost on accident, pursuing other interests. He is taken in by their gentle politeness and also by their inner strength that they show by their sense of justice and self-control. He falls in love and chooses to stay because he is not too afraid to be held back from love, and he is not too afraid to know that he deserves love and the chance to start again in Paradise.
The First Type Of Man Is The “Sexpat.”
The sexpat likes to smoke and drink, and he likes to visit bars and massage parlors. He sees Thailand as a playground that is consequence-free as he seeks to satisfy his need to seek new sensations and be free of responsibility and commitment. Travelers of this nature are not embraced by the majority of Thais, but they are pleasantly tolerated because it is the way of Thai society to be pleasant and tolerating of all people, especially ones who are seen as less fortunate or unable to escape from bad habits or poor behaviors. A sexpat will be able to live cheaply and comfortably in a bungalow by the sea and relax with his friends for a great deal of time before his money from home runs out. He might even make local friends or learn the local language, but at best these relationships will be superficial. This is again because of the tolerance of Thai society. For the most part the sexpat is welcomed but not completely appreciated.
The Sexpat Also Contributes To The Growing Stigma Against The Purity And Eligibility Of Thai Women.
Being that the sexpat is interested in sensation-seeking, the ones he will talk to will be other farang interested in similar pursuits, or local sex-workers who make a living off of selling him services. These are also human beings with families, and many women in the industry single handedly support their families on their income. They are usually kind-hearted people who are in the trade and know what to say, do and how to act in order to attract business, and the sexpat will fall right into them. Writing home to his friends on his blog, the sexpat will degrade the purity of Thai women by telling everything they are only interested in money and that they are all prostitutes. But this is only the sexpat’s experience. The reality is much different.
Many Thai women aren’t interested in foreigners at all, and will never be found at bars and clubs and massage parlors. They are holding down jobs and getting themselves educated, or they are in the home maintaining a safe place for their family and loved ones.
This brings us to the second type of man who stays. Some men come to Thailand looking to volunteer in the community, teach English or be involved in a specific program. In these programs they will interact both with farang and native Thais, and these Thais are the ones who are likely to have once been in the majority of women uninterested in foreigners, who become interested after pleasant experiences with good-hearted people looking to contribute to the well-being of their country. These women speak English, have an educated background, and are able to interact in a professional way. Thai society values robust mental energy and a friendly disposition toward everyone.
Once interacting in this way for a few weeks or months, many Western men see the obvious benefits of a life in Thailand. The nature is breathtaking. People don’t spend their lives seated in front of a television or a computer screen. Social lives are rich and dynamic, and cultural customs fill everyday things, such as meals and the patterns of life, with meaning. Besides this, Western men see a natural delicacy and attentiveness to the Thai woman. She is beautiful and kind-hearted, and doesn’t need to be the center of attention or talk too much or too loudly. The second type of man who stays in Thailand sees the positive values of all these qualities of Thailand and its people, and chooses to stay in order to better himself and his life. We only have one life, why spend it being unhappy?