Your Heart Flutters When You Future Thai Wife Steps Into The Room And She Is All That Runs Through Your Mind.
You have built a transparent and honest relationship and you think that the time may have come to pop the big question. For what will be the most significant moment of both of your lives, you want everything to be perfect, however for this to be the case with a Thai wife, certain rather unromantic preparations need to be done before you can run off together into the sunset.
Hi! I’m Nathamon, the CEO and owner of the Meet Me Now Bangkok Company. I have been thrilled to see many happy engagements and have attended many magical Western/Thai weddings myself, but all of the smoothest marriages came when the man was aware of all the customs and issues that may arise along the way.
What Do You Have To Consider Before Making Her Your Thai Wife?
First things first. Her family comes first! That doesn’t mean she doesn’t have room for you as naturally when you marry her, you become her new family. You must be aware before marriage that most Thai adults still live with their parents, and even once married, many couples continue to live in the family home. This may seem like a shocking prospect to a Westerner, however it is the complete norm in Thailand. Your future Thai wife‘s stance on this issue may become a big problem or she may be more than happy to compromise. Times are changing and as women in Thailand become more successful and independent, many choose to live separately as they get jobs and their own families.
Where Does Your Future Thai Wife Live?
Wherever your girlfriend lives, make sure to make an effort with her family, as they are always sure to be a huge part of her life and soon to be yours. Most Thai women would choose their family over a lover in all circumstances, so do not make it an issue where this choice would ever have to be made, because you would lose out. It is more than likely that her family will be welcoming and loving towards you, and as you probably already know from your lady, Thai people are very hospitable and gentle.
The next factor that you must be prepared for is the ‘sinsot’ or in English, dowry. This may come as quite the shock and you may initially feel insulted and taken advantage of, but this is in most circumstances not the case. The idea of a dowry, in which parents request money to ‘give their daughter away’ to prospective husbands has been long faded out in the West, however in most Asian countries it is still very much expected. From all classes and walks of life, fiancees must pay the family of their lady in order to ‘claim’ her as their wife. So is the dowry something a Western man should pay to his Thai bride’s family, or is it just a case of Westerners being taken for fools? Well it is a custom that has taken place in Thailand for hundreds of years, and it is conventional to put the money or gold on display at the wedding. High society girls who have been given large dowries, are publicized and they along with their families become a spectacle of attention.
How much you should expect to pay, whilst not being exploited is hard to distinguish, however there are some factors that add to digits. If a lady is from a wealthy family and is well educated and beautiful the dowry can be very high. If she is still a virgin then this also significantly increases the dowry price. In many instance, if the woman is older and divorced, most Thai men will only pay a nominal dowry or nothing at all. All of this may seem as if we are sen as products by men in Thailand but this really is not the case. Marriages are based on love, and this custom is long accepted. A friend of mine on the eve of her wedding said to me that she was happy that she is not the most beautiful or the wealthiest daughter so that her and her husband could keep more of his money for themselves.
Where you will both live after the wedding is something that must be discussed between you both. Will you move your life, possibly business etc to Thailand or do you expect her to come to your home country. Either move would be a huge uprooting experience that both of you need to prepare for and support each other with.
You must be aware that if you come to Thailand with the exclusive agenda of meeting her or fly her to your country then she along with her family will have the expectations of marriage. Therefore if marriage is not on your agenda then make sure to make it clear to your lady.